It's not TABOO to be in love with a FABOO boy

Are you ready for Queen Enrique, Baby Ricky, Hoochie of the downtown, the most catty hateful bitch of Bakersfield fashion, and lover of everyone in tight jeans? Enough about what’s personal. Let me get back to what I have been saying all along about fashion. It’s what you need to make you, YOU! I can’t even begin to tell you how lovely it is for a little girl like me to have been in New York this past week. I was on the I-78 in New Jersey, approaching the Holland Tunnel, the Long Island Expressway, singing to the Queens Midtown Tunnel… mmmmm, then on the I-95 North, we approached the George Washington Bridge… oh did I say we? Wouldn’t you like to know? …and the next thing you knew I was in another spin, zinging in another direction, and was in the garment district and it was all about the newness, the sleek, the dynamic, the ravishing, and all those glittering sprinkles, so much candy in your clothes; like a little bit of hoochie on everything, because let me tell you what’s coming back! Silver threads and golden sequins! You should see my DNA honeys, it ALL glitters. You didn’t know? Shame on you… now run to me because I want to hold you and tell you… If you haven’t been a reader lately of the most fashoo Fashion and Style section of the NY Times, then you just don’t care. I’m looking the other way so kiss me on the cheek and I will finish my story. I’ll shout that all the way to my lastest hero, Captain Kenny Filthy Pants, and right down to his little boy GAP boxer briefs. Did I tell you about my latest crush? Ever since the Cherry Bar I have been madly in love with the leading man of the Filthies. Don’t tell Paulo that. Oh I don’t care. He’ll just faint and I’ll laugh because he’s a hoochie and keeps calling me. The competition right now is between Kenny and Rico. Rico, so straight, such curly hair, such tight jeans. But he doesn’t make love to a guitar onstage like that filthy boy sugary sweet honeybee that I want to sting me right on my dirty cucaracha maraca. Jajajaja! Now, back to sequins. These aren’t gold, but you know my colors and look at that price! It’s as delicious as strawberries circling my golden moons… now be a cherub and run to me! Yes honeys, because you can!