Where's mama been now? Damn that Paulo! Damn him!

There was a little chile pepper walking to school one day. She wore a big pink boa and told her boyfriend, “You walk by yourself, because you’re not hot enough!” And he wasn’t. He was a shriveled, unholy, smirking little habanero who had soaked all night just to let the water make him feel less like fire. But she did not like it! Oh no, she said, “I’m going to find me a new dancing, fiery, cholula pepper boy. One who isn’t so demanding, One that doesn’t have so little fire in his seeds!” Yes you all. Run to me because I am not going to cry now that Paulo is gone. What can mama say? My life will go on. There will be new Paulos in a great big Puerto Rican blue-haired sunset for me! And I shout that because I can! But let me say this to you… don’t any of you ladies ever put up with a man who threatens you with violence. You run. You run to me if you have to. I’ll hold you. I am queen of the downtown fur and I’m growling like you and you and you at all those bad little boys! Now let’s have fun, because I was at the Silver Fox and I saw Teresa and he was wonderful. He wore fake eyelashes like Brad Pitt can wear a Tie: so perfect, so yummy, so vroom vroom get your engines into high gear ladies. So Teresa said he might show up on the 16th to Narducci’s where mama is making her big entrance. Now run to me because I need to hug you and you and you! And no tears for Paulo!